Leader's Compass 22 - Get Rich Quick! 9 Ways To Increase Your Wealth Almost Immediately

What does it mean to be rich? I've met a lot of financially wealthy people in my life. I'm fortunate that my positions in life have afforded me the opportunity to meet people from all walks of life. Here is one thing I've observed though, being rich, being wealthy has less to do with money and more to do with perspective. Don't get me wrong, money is important. I've had enough, not enough and more than enough and having more is better than having less. But, having more of something does not necessarily make a person rich. Below are some of my observations on what it means to be rich and some of the people who I learned the lessons from.

1. Work hard. Hard work itself is wealth. As a child my mom and dad instilled the concept of hard work into my head by making me, my brothers and sisters work hard. I remember one day going to a property my dad owned to cut down the weeds. "Steve," he said "one of the keys to life is to pray like everything depends on God and then work as if everything depends on you." 

We worked hard that day to get the property in better shape. A common misconception we have is that "someday" we won't have to work hard...we will have enough money to just sit around and do whatever we want. Sitting on a beach doing nothing the rest of my life is the opposite of wealth in my mind. Wealth is having a job that needs to be done and knowing you are equal to the task. 

I've learned over the years that having work to do is wealth. A wealth of work, a wealth of challenges, a wealth of responsibilities breeds skill development, drive, passion and persistence...all traits of the wealthy individual. There is no greater feeling than a job, no, make that a hard job well done.

2. Observe and express gratitude. Gratitude is wealth. My grandmother on my moms side was not a financially wealthy person. She was, however one of the richest people I have ever known. She was grateful for everything in her life. 

One summer my dad poured a concrete pad for her in front of her garage. Instead of having just a gravel path for a driveway she now had a beautiful cement pad. She was so grateful, so appreciative of the work and the gift she would go out and sweep the small plot at least twice a day. She was grateful for her home, her grandchildren, her life. She was truly wealthy because she appreciated everything.

3. Have faith. Faith is wealth. When I was younger I thought my mom was a little crazy when she would talk faithfully about how she knew things would work out for the best. An extremely hard worker, she embodied the hard work ethic my brothers and sisters share. But she showed more than just hard work. She had faith. She believed. She moved forward in life with faith and conviction. 

It takes great courage to believe, to move forward in life, to have faith. She taught me to believe, see the future with an eye of faith and then work hard to make my faith a reality. Pessimists lack the wealth of courage it takes to have faith. Faith is born from an abundance mentality. Ultimately faith is wealth.

4. Have. Having is wealth. I know, I know you may be thinking "duh, of course having more makes you wealthy." I'm not necessarily talking about having more things. I'm talking about having more...more money because you spend less than you make, more friendships because you deposit more than you withdraw in relationships. Security, safety and wealth don't just come from making more. They come from keeping more, and spending less. 

One day my oldest daughter looked at a gorgeous Corvette and said, "well, that guy use to be rich." "What do you mean?" I asked. "Well, he had a lot of money before he spent it on that car." The wisdom of a child is profound. Having, not spending is wealth.

5. Collect mementos. Mementos make you rich. Symbolism is in every major religion. Buildings use to be built with it as an integral piece to their design. In one way or another we choose the things in life that remind us of something else, the items that have symbolic meaning.

Having mementos that remind you of something, or some experience in life make you rich. Remember the time when? Mementos help remind you of that time. What about your personal code, your values, your mission, your creed? Mementos can help remind you and bring a wealth of memory and purpose. 

For the most part I wear the same watch every day. It was a gift from my wife on our 15th anniversary. It's a watch that is built to last long after my body wears out. When I'm 6 feet under my son will have it. It's symbolic of my goal in life to build a life, to build relationships, to build businesses that are built to last.

6. Cultivate great relationships. Relationships bring wealth. When I was younger my best friend Eric would drive me crazy from time to time when we needed to be somewhere and he would stay and listen to people until we were late getting to the next place we needed to be. Over time it dawned on me that everyone loved Eric because of this. His ability to listen and empathize was second to none. He developed deep and meaningful relationships with almost everyone he met. He was and still is a very wealthy man because of his relationships. 

Empathy, time, interest, love, compassion, listening. Each one of these relationship currencies build a wealth that can last a lifetime. Friendships are priceless. Owning priceless items means you are wealthy. Value the relationships in your life well and you will be an extremely wealthy person.

7. Recognize that moments that push your limits bring wealth. One night my wife said to me "I think we need go go to the hospital." "I feel fine thanks," I responded jokingly. "No, I'm serious, I think the baby is coming." She couldn't finish the last sentence before her water broke. About 10 minutes later we delivered our son at home...just the two of us, her working excruciatingly hard and me squatting with my catchers mitt to catch the little guy. Paramedics showed up about 15 minutes later. The fears running through my head..."what if he isn't ok?" "What if she isn't ok?" These fears pushed my emotional limits. His life was in my hands. Her life was in my hands. 

That moment, like others that have pushed either my emotional or physical limits have made me very wealthy. Moments that push our limits don't have a monetary price tag. There is no amount of money in the world to to replace the moments that make us better than what we think we are. Imagine the admiration I had and still have for my gorgeous wife for sharing that moment together and seeing her physical and emotional limits tested. That moment made us wealthy.

8. Give. Giving is wealth. When I was younger I served a service mission in South Dakota. I met many people with very little physical possessions. Despite their lack of money they gave me whatever they had. They fed me. They gave me gifts, friendship and love. 

Giving is wealth. Poor people can't give. Wealthy people give, even if all they have to give is love. Don't forget though - if you give more than you have, you will have nothing left to give. Over-giving beyond your means is no better than over-spending. Playing the martyr that gives all is not wealth. Wealth comes from giving what you have. Far too many give to others and let their own kids starve. That's not wealth, it's just stupid.

9. Take care of what you have. We live in a disposable world. Clothing is out of style too quickly. Relationships can end just by clicking send at the end of a nasty text. Wealthy people take stock of their lives and regularly maintain their wealth. From exercising and eating well to care for their body to changing the oil on their car the wealthy maintain and often make better what they have. 

In our family's mission statement we have a line that says we strive to "leave people and places better than we find them." Did you know that one of the major reasons people go into debt to buy a new car is because they want a clean car? Really? We can't just clean and maintain it? Taking care of what we have brings wealth, and, it prevents a great deal of debt.

So, what does it mean to be rich? Ultimately that's for you to decide. I'm fortunate that my positions in life have afforded me the opportunity to meet people from all walks of life. Here is one thing I've observed though, being rich, being wealthy has less to do with money and more to do with perspective. Don't get me wrong, money is important. I've had enough, not enough and more than enough and having more is better than having less. But, having more of something does not necessarily make a person rich. The nine tips I've just shared are my humble opinion. I try to live by them and I feel pretty damn wealthy. Give em a try and I think you will too. 

***Thanks for reading my blog. I'd love to hear your thoughts. Please leave me your comments below.***

The worst $&#%bleep€^#>%ing curse word you say every day...and you don't even know it...

You all say it. Religious? Doesn't matter. You say it as much as your non-religious friends. Male? Female? It's all the same. Both genders are equally generous with their use of this word. It's the worst word to hear from a customer when describing themselves. It's the depressing word you use to describe what you do for a living. It's the word you use to excuse your pathetic waste of time rather than doing what will improve your life. It's the word you can use in any social situation without anyone stopping to stare at you. In fact, when you say it most people just go right along with you.

One day in a meeting I wrote a few cuss words on a white board to watch the visceral reaction of the group of leaders in the room. Immediately when some words appeared on the board you could see people fidget in their seats. There was an undeniable, visceral reaction to these words. After observing this and asking people to tell me how they felt when seeing the words I told them that I was going to introduce them to the ultimate cuss word. I told them that it's the worst word to hear from a customer when describing themselves. It's the depressing word you use to describe what you do for a living. It's the word you use to excuse your pathetic waste of time rather than doing what will improve your life. It's the word you can use in any social situation without anyone stopping to stare at you. In fact, when you say it most people just go right along with you. Then, I wrote on the board the word just.

"I'm just a stay at home mom." "Oh, I just work in a cafe making food." "I'm just a single member of your gym that doesn't buy personal training." "I know I'm just a member using the coupon you gave me for the massage and not a regular client yet." This last comment is one that led to the aforementioned meeting. 

Just. For most this word isn't going to cause any immediate visceral reaction. You aren't repulsed by it, turned off by seeing it or, frankly offended when you use it. After all...it's just a word.

Shit. It has two meanings really doesn't it? It can be used to describe feces or it can be used as an expressive vulgarity. Many would debate that regardless of its use it's still a cuss word in the American English language. By the way...pay attention to your gut reaction...most of us feel the visceral pull of the last word more than the word just. Hell. Same thing. Two meanings. It's a place that some debate is not a cuss word, but when used as an expression it is. Just. Equally, it can have two, or probably multiple meanings. "Did you break your arm?" "No, I just bruised it." Not much cursing going on in this conversation. "What do you do for a living?" "I just work as a janitor." Massive cussing here.

When used to minimize the important, when used to make smaller something that shouldn't be the word just can be more powerful than any damn swear word in your quiver. Just a single member? No, they are a valued customer that needs attention and service. Especially now that we made them feel like "just" anything. Just a stay at home mom? Well, my stay at home mom is one of the greatest people in the world...despite all of my obvious faults. Just out of bacon? Ok ok, now we have serious problems.

How often do you use this curse word in your day to day? What is it that you are minimizing? Your strength? Others strength? Your potential? Other people's potential? Your value? The value of your "job," your daily routine? Where are you "just" ifying the minimizing in your life?

You all say it. Religious? Doesn't matter. You say it as much as your non-religious friends. Male? Female? It's all the same. Both genders are equally generous with their use of this word. It's the worst word to hear from a customer when describing themselves. It's the depressing word you use to describe what you do for a living. It's the word you use to excuse your pathetic waste of time rather than doing what will improve your life. It's the word you can use in any social situation without anyone stopping to stare at you. In fact, when you say it most people just go right along with you. 

Stop just-ing your life away and begin to train your mind to have the same visceral reaction to this curse word as any other. Live well. Be well.

***Thanks for making time to read the blog. I appreciate your comments and shares. Please let me know what you think in the comment section below.***

Leader's Compass 20 - The Problem You Don't Know You Have

"There are a thousand hacking at the branches of evil to one who is striking at the root."

- Henry David Thoreau

You have a problem. Your wife knows it. Your co-workers know it. Your husband knows it. Your friends know it. The problem is...you don't know it.

You have a problem. It's bad. What's worse is you don't even know you have the problem. I know you do because I have the same problem...on a regular basis. Let me try to explain.

A few years ago I took a business trip that took me away from my family and friends for about ten days. This was, at the time, the longest I had been away from my wife and kids. At the end of the trip I went to the airport and sat down in a busy terminal. I had two carry on bags. When I sat down I put one bag on the chair to my left and one bag on the chair to my right. Over the next few minutes more and more people filled in the seats around me. As I was reading I noticed a gentleman looking around for a seat. "Move your bags" I thought. I didn't. He moved on.

Based on what I just told you what did my actions express? Here are my observations:

1. I was tired, and more than a little homesick 

2. I saw my need to sit down and rest as very important

3. I made sure to create a barrier between me and anyone else

4. I viewed my need to sit as more important than others needs, and I viewed my desire for privacy as more important than another's need to sit

Yes, my actions were representative of a jerk. Or, frankly I acted like a selfish jerk. Did you notice my problem? It's the same one you have. 

Remember last week when you got home and told your wife about that coworker "who is just so difficult to work with?" "It's her fault that your area is suffering!" 

Remember when you took that parking space from the person that was waiting for it?

What about the time when you had your head buried in your phone when someone else was talking to you?

Or how about last week when you didn't pick up your son's Lego on the floor when you saw it? Later, when you weren't paying attention, you stepped on it with your bare feet. Remember the pain? Remember how you yelled at him for not cleaning up his stuff?

Your problem is the same as mine. It's THE root of all of our problems. You and I have become masters of self deception. In the book Leadership and Self Deception the authors describe this as "being in the box" toward another individual. 

When we are in the box a few things happen:

1. We cause others to be in the box toward us and others

2. We treat people like objects, not human beings with needs, feelings and desires like ours

3. We place blame on others - the box needs justification

4. We do not take personal accountability

5. We try to pretend, use slick tools, skills and tricks to work with people while inside we have a very hollow feeling toward them

6. We try to "fix" people...just like we try to "fix" things

Remember my airport story. Well, as radio broadcaster Paul Harvey use to say..."and now, the rest of the story..." When I denied the thought that came from the small voice of conscience that we all have I had a moment of self betrayal. That moment of self betrayal is what put me in the box. Because I was in the box I needed to feed the box justification. And that's exactly what I did. "That guy looks dirty, and he really smelled bad" I thought to myself. "I'm sure there are some seats somewhere else." When I was in the box I was practically applauding myself...high fiving my self deceived, self betrayed, jerk self for making a wrong decision.

Karma is a beautiful thing and you can imagine who I sat next to on the plane...yep...the smelly guy. At that point I woke up to my box, my betrayal and got out. Stepping out of the box I smiled, pulled out my pack of gum and offered him a peice. We chatted briefly. No, we didn't become best friends or even pen pals (Facebook wasn't around so we didn't become Facebook friends either). I simply steped out of the box by treating him the way he should be treated...as a human being.

You have a problem. Everyone around you knows it. Think the world revolves around you? Think others should jump just because you say so? I mean, c'mon...don't they know who you are?! You have a problem...and it's not the problem you think. I know, because I have the same problem.

***Note: Thanks for reading my blog. This concept is the most powerful concept in leadership, relationships and life. I've found it to be the most life changing concept anyone who works with people for a living, is in a long term relationship or has children can ever learn. To learn more about the box and self deception please pick up Leadership and Self Deception by The Arbinger Institute. Their follow up "prequel" The Anatomy of Peace is a great addition as well and a must read for any parent. I would appreciate reading your comments so please leave them in the section below.***