Leader's Compass 29 - Two Crucial Leadership Skills

In his book Creativity - The Perfect Crime, Philippe Petit describes that the first step in his creative process is to start with chaos. "The word chaos is Greek and means 'that which gapes wide open. It's a beautiful world. I see a wide-open mouth hungry to swallow the worlds knowledge."

The art of parkour began in France. The French called this explosive running style "faire un parcour." Parkour, or playfull acrobatic running is running is a mix of running combined with gymnastic-type moves in an obstacle course, in city streets or throughout nature. At the heart of this style of movement is the ability to adapt ones movements to ones surroundings and environment.

Relationships are inherently either creative or destructive in nature depending on the way we approach them. A true leader and coach approaches the relationships in her life with the intent to create, build and develop. Like any other creative pursuit this requires stepping into the unknown, facing the chaos and opening up another person in a way that develops and creates.

One of the difficulties in navigating relationships is having the ability to perform gymnastic-like moves when communicating with others in order to stay on track. Flexibility is crucial in communication and relationship growth. Like the skilled parkour runner the skilled leader may need to leap over criticism, dodge anger and cartwheel past the initial challenges of tough conversations.

Two important tools in any leader's tool belt are coaching and feedback. Coaching is something a leader does when the foundations of trust, honesty and respect are present in the relationship. The process of coaching is fairly simple. When a problem or concern arises in a relationship the leader approaches the other person and in a non-attacking way tells them how they see a situation. Following their perspective they say "how do you see it?" Finally, the leader encourages the other person to create a plan to fix the problem, improve the situation and/or ensure the concern doesn't continue.

Coaching, like its brother feedback is fact based. Opinions, judgements and threats are not part of true coaching. Feedback, also a fact based tool in the leaders tool belt is a tool to be used with high and low performers to reinforce positive behaviors. "I really appreciate how thorough you were in your financial report. You really drilled down to the details and showed a strong grasp of your business. Thank you for the time and attention to detail you put in." 

This type of specific feedback shows the person exactly what you appreciated and what you thought they did well. The feedback approach builds confidence in a specific area and eliminates "the halo effect" we throw around when we say things like "you are awesome." Specific feedback drives more specific performance. Telling someone they are awesome, no matter how well intentioned only makes them feel good temporarily and does not give them anything to continue doing well.

The Wall Street Journal reported recently that the majority of workers prefer getting positive feedback. Reading that may make you think "well duh"! Who loves receiving negative feedback? Not many. Therefore they ability to deliver coaching, rather than just negative feedback is crucial. Stepping into the wide expanse, opening up to the chaos is the first step in the creative process. Practice the skills of coaching and feedback and, like a great parkour artist you will be able to navigate your relationships well while making others feel great. Be a true professional - practice until you don't get it wrong. Lead on.