Leader's Compass 38 - Mindset and Daily Flow

In her book Mindset Dr. Carol Dweck shares her research about what she calls a "Fixed Mindset" and a "Growth Mindset." Dr. Dweck shows through the book how those who adopt a fixed mindset struggle more in life. When depressed the fixed mindset group feel worse than the growth mindset group. The growth mindset group become more focused, more determined to use the state of depression for it's purpose - to slow life down, evaluate and re-create our future.

Those that adopt a growth mindset have a paradigm of change and believe that talent, skill, ability are, at the very core changeable. Those that adopt a fixed mindset, however feel like they can not change who they are, what talent or ability they have and are only happy when they are validated and things come easy.

In the quintessential book on personal development Stephen R. Covey taught that the problems we face are, at the very core problems with paradigms, beliefs or frames of reference. Working on our mindset is as the saying goes hacking at the root of evil, rather than the branches.

Recently in our book club we have been studying and discussing the book Flow by Dr. Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi (chick-sent-me-hi). Dubbed "The Father of Flow" Dr. Csikszentmihalyi discusses and lays out the conditions for getting into the flow or optimal state. Unfortunately for most they feel that this state is elusive and/or it only happens by chance. In the book Dr Csikszentmihalyi talks about how there are three areas of life where we spend our time and that in each of the three areas we can develop patterns and habits to get into the flow state.

• Work. We spend much of our day in work. Students work is their studies, professionals work is their job. Finding flow in the work time is important because we spent so much of life here. 
• Maintenance. Maintenance time is the time spent in basic maintenance activity - brushing your teeth, preparing food, etc.
• Leisure. Leisure time is the time where we read, exercise, watch TV etc. Anything that we choose to do when not working or maintaining our life. 

Creating flow in each area can lead to a fulfilling and very liberating life. Far too many of us however "work for the weekend" because we have not created flow opportunities in work. Leisure, on the other hand escapes some because they don't know how to have an engrossing and flow experience and find themselves diving completely into the day to day of work. These people tend to be very flat, one dimensional individuals who have much more of a fixed mindset.

Growth mindset individuals work to create flow in each area of life. They know the power of creating an optimal experience and are conscious and intentional about how they plan and execute their life. They are the true architects and engineers of their lives.

So how do they do it? How do the growth mindset individuals create flow in all three areas of life. Let's explore a few ideas.

• Work Flow. Growth mindset individuals carefully assess the tasks, responsibilities and projects in their work that get them into a flow state and work to do them more often. they find that the challenge of the flow state is rewarding and gives them growth. The growth mindset individual also challenges the mundane by making a game of it. Need to make 50 sales calls? The growth mindset seeks to make a fun game out of it and rewards herself when the goal has been accomplished. 
• Maintenance Flow. Growth mindset looks at the maintenance times of life as great opportunities to create a life of meaning in even the smallest things. One of the requirements of flow is the need for goals and challenge. "How do I challenge myself in the basic, mundane and routine things in life?" you may ask. Set goals. When getting dressed in the morning a growth mindset lays the clothes out and carefully, and with great elegance and dexterity dresses himself. He understands that careful attention in this small area can provide great feedback that will help his overall quality of life. 
• Leisure Flow. Certain activities are inherently more flow friendly. Rock climbers, artists, readers tend to get into a flow state more often that those that watch TV. This is because flow requires goals, attention and a certain amount of focus and challenge. Growth mindset individuals are very careful and selective about the activities they chose to participate in when not at work. 

The growth mindset and flow go hand in hand in the long run of life. That's not to say a fixed mindset individual can not enter in a state of flow. The fixed mindset will,  however have a more difficult time in the long run getting into consistent flow states.

Here's to developing a growth mindset and living in a more consistent flow state! Lead on!

Leader's Compass 37 - Never Give Up

Failure is an interesting concept. It's not the same as losing. Losing happens all the time. In a football game the clock runs out and there is a winning team and a losing team. Failure however has an element to it that is in our control. We don't fail when we lose. We don't fail when we stumble. We don't fail when we fall, mess up, make a mistake or even make a bad decision. We fail when we give up.

Fear is one of our most basic emotions. We all feel fear for one reason or another. Fear is what can paralyze us from action if we let it. Fear has many disguises, many false faces. Often it is fear that leads us to fail because we determine that our loses will continue to be loses and we stop trying.

A Death by a Thousand Cuts
The coward fear, rarely comes at us all at once and in bold ways. Like all cowards fear tries to get us by creating "death by a thousand cuts."

"You can't do that." "That's silly." "It's not that important anyway." "I don't need to be that bold, that strong, I can get by with just doing what I've been doing."  

Fear tries to get us to not take action when the better part of us knows that actions both big and small can eventually lead to our success. 

The Clock

Fear, the coward tries to get us to quit when we fall, make a mistake, bad decision or have an action, project or venture that falls flat. Fortunately, however life is not like a football game...it's an entire season of games and we can restart any time we need. The clock doesn't run out as often as we think it does. When the clock does run out we are empowered to begin another game. We have the ability to look at a loss and start again. Until we are six feet under we have the opportunity to get moving and try again. The season is over when we sing our last breath and our heart plays it's last beat. 

Awareness

Failure happens in life far too often because we lack awareness in one or both areas:

• Self Awareness
• Social Awareness

Lack of self awareness can cause us to ring the bell early, call it quits before our time is up or simply talk ourselves into inaction. As Polonius said in Shakespere's Hamlet:

"This above all: to thine own self be true

And it must follow, as the night the day

Thou canst not then be false to any man."

When we are self aware we understand that the constant voice of the coward fear will be in our head, yet we need not heed his hideous words. Too often we believe the self doubt, the self effacing, the self sabotaging thoughts and act in ways according to fear's false message.

Social awareness, our ability to be aware of our social settings, how people feel, what they need and how they are thinking is another essential key to quieting fear's fretful message. Lack of social awareness leads us to gauge our life off of a ghost - the ever elusive target of "others" and what they think or may think. 

Show Up

Success comes only through one way - work. Some may argue or debate this. "But what about the person that wins the lottery?" "What about the lucky?" What about those that are born with greater privilege, more money, better looks, more talent?" It's true that some come easily into perceived success - money, fame, etc. with less effort than others. Some won the "looks lottery," the "talent lottery," or a number of other lotteries. However, winning something that you didn't work for can never really been seen as success. Did you know that most people who win a financial lottery are broke within just a few short years? How is this success when the prize flees so soon and the receiver of the reward has not developed the skills necessary to replicate the results?

Showing up means doing the work, whatever the work because:

1. Doing the work develops you into a better, more skilled person
2. Doing the work forces you to face and confront your fears and doubts
3. Doing the work can, by the nature of doing it with focus can lead to a flow state, a state that is inherently self rewarding
4. Doing the work in the long run feels so much better than the lies we tell ourselves for not doing the work

The other day a good friend had a family member pass away. When we told him that he didn't need to come to a work event where he is typically the central figure he responded "Brett Farve played the day after his dad died. It's rough, but I'll be there. The group is counting on me" And he was. Not only was he there physically but he showed up mentally and delivered his best. He showed up, he worked with focus and intent and made a significant impact on those that were in attendance.

The Process is the Reward

Talk to any "successful" person and they will tell you that there is much more joy in the journey than in the actual destination. The process of work and striving is, if done consistently the reward. Anything that makes you stronger, better, more skilled and more focused becomes the inherent reward for the work we put in. 

Remember that in life you and you alone determine whether or not you have failed. Haven't achieved your goal yet...join the club. Not quite where you want to be? Good. Keep going. until you decide that the bell has rung, the clock has run out and the game is over you haven't truly failed. Refocus, reevaluate and don't retire until you win. Cheers to your journey! Lead on!    

Leader's Compass 36 - What is Your Core? 5 Steps to Greater Freedom

When I was a personal trainer I would teach my clients the importance of developing the core of their body. The core is where the power comes from. The core is what protects the vital organs. The core is where we initiate every movement from. In fact - did you know that when your body begins to do a simple exercise like a biceps curl a deep muscle in the core of the body is the first to activate, stabilizing the body for the movement?

Our personal core is much the same. Who you are, who you truly believe you are is what gives you true power and freedom, or a lack thereof. Whatever you do is initiated from the core beliefs you have about yourself and the world. You can't do anything, even your daily, habitual routines without a deep core activation. The trick is that, just like the body's core your personal core can either be strong or weak depending on how you train it.

Create a daily routine of feeding your core as you prepare for the day

Here are a few tips to think about.

1. Develop your mission. Writing a mission statement is easier than what most people think. Simply ask yourself questions like:

• What are my core values?
• If I were at my own funeral, what would I want people to say about me?
• If the me from 20 or 30 years from now gave advice to the me now what would he or she say?
• How do I truly want to live my life?

Remember that your mission is what grounds you. It's the core that you always want to come back to.

2. Create a vision. What kind of life do you want? What compels you? What moves you forward? Write out a vision of who you want to be (character attributes) and what you what to acquire (skills and possessions). 

3. Write your script. Many people read "scriptures," religious or spiritual writings of others that serve as a script for their life. This is a good practice. However, YOU and you alone are in charge of dictating your life. What is your script? What are your scriptures? Write in a journal the values you want to live by, the thoughts that inspire you and that you want to come back to over and over again. 

4. Build your standards. A few weeks ago the Wall Street Journal had a great article about standards and their ability to keep you true to your goals. For instance saying "I never eat foods with artificial ingredients" has been shown to be more powerful than the willpower concept of just saying no to bad food choices in the moment. What standards to you have? What will you accept and what will you never allow?

5. Finally - feed your soul often. Keep a journal of your thoughts, emotions and progress toward your goals. Keep your mission, vision, values and standards with you. Personally I prefer to keep my "core" in a small notebook I carry with me daily so I can review it at any downtime. Some people prefer to keep their core on their phone in the notes section. Whatever it is for you - get it written down, keep it with you and review often. 

Keep your core with you to review regularly

Remember - your power comes from your personal core. Exercise it daily to consciously develop who you are and where you want to go. You are in charge. Live well and lead on.  

Leader's Compass 35: How You Do Anything

There's a saying that goes "how you do anything is how you'll do everything." This is a particularly ponderous thought for a leader. I've always been a fan of living an examined life. Regularly journaling ones thoughts, experiences and perspectives can help create a consistent habit of concious and intentional action.

Recently the Wall Street Journal highlighted a gentleman who had spent over 40 years journaling at the beginning of each day. This initial intentional action each day helped him make sense of his life, express his feelings and make his experiences and emotions tangible.

It's unfortunate that in our day and age loud and sometimes vulgar expressions of emotion are the norm. What would the world be like if daily a leader sat with a cup of tea expressing his thoughts on paper. What if she examined her emotions in a journal, making them tangible and clear before she vomited them on her team? What would happen if he examined how he felt and worked it out on paper with a plan rather than burying his feelings in a passive aggressive pattern?

How you do anything is how you will do everything. Are you concious and thoughtful with your emotions, your thoughts and your plans? Do you live and examined life? Do you live a life of true intention or are you constantly caught up in the mood of the moment? Your life, your growth, your emotional intelligence and maturity are all in your control. What path will you chose? How will you approach the one thing in your life that will create the pattern for everything? The choice is yours. Lead on and live well.

Leader's Compass 34 - The Few Who Do

"[Rationalization's] job is to keep us from feeling the same we would feel if we truly faced the cowards we are for not doing our work."

- Steven Pressfield, The War of Art

The greatest wars in life are waged in the walls of our mind. Should I? Shouldn't I? What if I fail? What if I succeed? What if it's too hard? What if people talk bad about me? What if...?

Constant questioning can paralize us into inaction. Essentially, we fail before we even begin. We battle the critical, excuse making voice inside us and give up before the physical battle ever begins.

There are those who, through practice and diligent effort have separated themselves from the exhausted masses of "those who rationalize" to become one of "the few who do."

High standards and expectations are essential to growth and flawless execution. Let's look at a few ideas that separate the few who do from those that have developed learned helplessness.

Personal Leadership
There is an old saying that "how you do anything is how you do everything." Standards will be met - either high or low. This is a basic tenant of leadership, growth and development. Strong leaders of others are even stronger leaders of themselves. They have honed the "few who do" mentality in their personal lives. These leaders:

1. Set crystal clear personal expectations. The few who do have mission statements, visions and standards for their lives. They review their internal compass regularly.
2. Realize that they are only as strong as their weakest link. The few who do know that the statement "I'm good at __________, but really bad at ____________" determines how good they really area. They know the weakest area is one that creates the most drag.
3. Understand that the negative internal voice author Steven Pressfield calls "The Resistance" is inherent in all of us. Doing what needs to be done in spite of this voice separates the few who do from those who rationalize.

After developing strong personal habits the leader can then look outward at setting and holding strong expectations for others.

Leading Others
The powerful personal leader, the one who has discipline and focus can now turn his or her attention to leading others into becoming the few who do. When doing so these charismatic and determined leaders:

1. Set crystal clear expectations. Strong leaders set the bar high and clarify -
1. What the global vision is
2. What the strategic objectives are
3. What every team member's roles are and
4. What obstacles may be in the way that the team will need to overcome
2. Teach, coach and develop both the top and bottom performers. These leaders know that the drag created by low performers can not be outrun by the best. The weakest metric, the weakest skill in a team member or employee will need to be addressed.
3. Challenge and inspire the team to push through challenges. The "leader who does" gets involved and works side by side with his or her team challenging them to step up their game. They hold their team accountable to their personal development plans and empower and facilitate change in others so that they may also be part of the few who do.

 

Taking it Up a Notch
In his book Good to Great author Jim Collins identifies that the most charismatic leaders are not always those who get extraordinary results. Don't get me wrong - charisma is important in leadership, however it may not be the fulcrum that takes your endeavor from good to great.

Collins identifies what he calls Level 5 Leadership. In this level of leadership the leader has learned how to combine seemingly opposite qualities of personal will or determination and humility.

Effective leaders never give up, they cut through excuses - their own and others - and they stay humble by staying focused on being one of the few who do. Practice this yourself, BE one of the few who do and you will reap great rewards. Lead on.

Leader's Compass 33 - Be The Captain...How To Keep Your Head While Others Are Losing Theirs

You've heard the analogy before. A great captain keeps their head while all others are losing their own. The storms wage, the fears grow in the hearts and minds of the crew and the captain, the seasoned leaders shaped by time and experience keeps his calm and steers the ship through the storm to calmer waters. "Calm waters not a good captain make" the old adage was coined.

 

What is it that keeps these seasoned leaders so calm, emotions in check and focused? What do they know that you may not?

Author Mario Alonso Pug wrote that "whether we like it or not, someone who is overcome with emotions is intellectually at a dead-end." The ability to keep your head when the challenges seem to be mounting can be the tipping point of your success or failure.

So how do keep calm when deadlines and pressures mount? One of the crucial skills in developing your EQ or emotional intelligence is the skill of self awareness. Being self aware is the first step to ensuring your plan execution is cognitive and not emotive in nature. When stress builds up taking the time to stop and ask a few questions may prove to provide a more solid base from which to execute from. Let's take a look at a few:

• "What are my current top stressors?"
• "Why am I feeling the increased stress?"
• "What beliefs, what paradigms have led me to this point?"
• "Ultimately, what are the MOST important items for me to focus on right now?"

Anyone who has read Stephen Covey's 7 Habits of Highly Effective People will remember that in order to get moving in the direction we want we need to classify our stressors and action items into 4 quadrants (see below).

After identifying the quadrant breakdown you can slow down and take action on the items deemed most important. This requires a little bit of patience and some skillful kindness when you may need to tell someone who has brought you the latest gossip, their own pressing problem or the latest waste of time that you simply don't have time for it right now.

History has shown that acting when emotionally charged we make more "I'm sorry" moments than when we chose to pause, evaluate and act out of intellect, principle and independent choice.

The storms of life and business may not always be fun, but they can be a solid testing ground for our ability to remain calm when the waters are rough. Slow down, evaluate and gain perspective. Great leaders have a habit of looking, observing and then acting.

Take a deep breath, take time to evaluate and lead on.

Leader's Compass 32 - Patience - THE Essential Leadership Ingredient

When I was a young boy my mother would use any opportunity she could to teach me the importance of patience. Waiting in the doctors office, sitting in church, driving the 2 hour drive to grandma's house; the message was the same -" it'll teach you patience"

All of those times paid off. I learned that patience was a virtue to be coveted and practiced regularly. In fact, I've observed that patience in leadership is probably the most crucial ingredient to the recipie. A wise person once said that when it comes to people "slow is fast." This means that if you want someone to grow quickly be patient and slow down. People, unlike objects thrive in nurturing, patient relationships. The wise leader uses patience as the powerful tool to help breed a culture of support and growth.

Over the years I've had the pleasure of watching young managers become true leaders by learning and practicing patience. "Do it now, because I said so!" becomes replaced with patient nurturing and passionate teaching that respects the natural growth process. Patient leaders tend not to get as frustrated because they understand that patience is a more powerful tool than pushy persuasion. 

The patient leader tends to follow the mature decision making process when making decisions. They ask:

1 - How does this decision affect my team member?

2 - How does this decision affect my team?

3 - How does this decision affect our customer? And finally 

4 - How does this decision affect our company?

By patiently pausing and then choosing action after filtering the decision through the above process the patient leader is more likely to make a savvy, more seductive decision luring his or her followers toward wanting to do what the leader asks. 

Like physical strength movements patience is developed and strengthened through consistent practice. How is your patience practice coming along? Don't forget to pause and be patient. Lead on.